Writers Gonna Write

Growing up, I was a reader. I read every book I could get my hands on as fast as I could, whether they were appropriate for a child my age or not. I graduated college with an English degree, which involved even more reading, some forced and some done willingly, as well as countless nights spent furiously typing analyses of literary motifs and plot points. This would lead one, I assume, to the expectation that I enjoy writing. Well, I don't. At least not while I'm doing it.

The anticipation of what will arise from that blank page in front of you...the thrill of discovering a new character...I have never experienced these phenomena. I see dread and failure and panic staring back at me with their beady little eyes, taunting me with memories of the unfinished documents I have abandoned. Writing can be TEDIOUS. And so, lately, I often find myself avoiding all forms that require more than 140 characters at a time.

When I do feel inspired to write, I tend to get bogged down in the details. I worry about divulging too much of myself or not enough, or being insincere, or coming across as silly. I worry about not having enough to say or that no one will be interested. I can only imagine that every single person who has written anything, from a simple blog entry to a best-selling novel, has experienced these same fears.

I have always viewed writing as some sort of great puzzle. The words fall onto the page and it is my job to find the best fit for them. The fit that will create the most beautiful picture possible out of the rough edges and blurred colors that I began with. The problem with this scenario is that the longer I avoid it, the more pieces I have lying around, just waiting to be placed. So when I do finally decide that I'm going to knock out a paragraph or two, I find myself staring at 5,000,000 jagged little bits of cardboard, with no idea where to begin.

This brings me to THE POINT. The thing that has actually urged me to try and shut off, at least temporarily, the nagging part of my brain that tells me I won't finish this either, so I shouldn't bother. It was something that two actual writers that I respect, people that get paid to do it, said to me and the other 200 people in the audience that paid to hear them speak about writing and comedy and just generally being awesome people.

I am terrible at paraphrasing and have a special talent when it comes to forgetting punchlines to jokes, but the gist of what they said is: If you want to be a freaking writer, you have to write. Compulsively. Obsessively. Maniacally. To the point where it is all you do when you have free time. And then you have to show it to people. And you have to be prepared for them to hate it and want you to change everything about it. And then there was something about divorce, but let's try to ignore that.

This is the part I have struggled with my whole life, as an aspiring People Pleaser Extraordinaire. I don't want to just create something. I want to create something that people enjoy. Something worthy of praise. And this is what has been stopping me. If I don't feel like I have anything worthwhile to say, I don't say it. Well...no longer! Look out, world, because I have received professional advice that says when I am in the process of creating, I am not supposed to give a crap what anyone will think of my monstrosity work.

What I'm saying here is, prepare for the worst.

I don't expect that I will ever become a prolific author or even make a single cent from my words, but even with my somewhat limited life experience, I do believe that I have the potential to impress myself with what I can do. So, I am going to write. And by default, as long as I am writing something, I will be a writer.

EDIT: OOOPS, my bad. I forgot to do this...no excuse, just shame.

Nerdy and Manic...

...the perfect way to describe the past few days of my life.

In case you don't know this about me, in addition to being a massive music snob and avid concert goer, I am also a mega comedy nerd. One of the major perks of my job is that it affords me ample time and pretty much forces me to listen to podcasts and music all day long, in order to drown out the sound of the people around me.

I always enjoyed Comedy Central and HBO specials, Conan O'Brien, Last Comic Standing, and Bill Maher, Stephen Colbert, and others in the past, but over the last two years, I've had the chance to delve deeper and deeper into the world of "alternative comedy" and I've learned so much about what I find truly funny thanks to a number of amazing comics that happen to be much wittier than I will ever be.

Since moving to Chicago I've also had the opportunity to see quite a few of these comics perform live...sometimes for free! When done right, comedy shows can rival and occasionally even surpass concerts in terms of the joy they bring me. A night of unpredictability and laughter with hundreds of people that have a similar sense of humor...what could be better?

One of the people I've "discovered" through podcasts (and the very special A Special Thing forum) is Chris Hardwick. Of course, I remember Chris as the sarcastic co-host of Jenny McCarthy and Carmen Electra on Singled Out, and I also remember him as the equally snarky host of Shipmates, an atrocious dating show that I used to watch at an ungodly hour of the night in my waitressing years (when I couldn't sleep). I think I always liked him because he seemed to grasp how silly reality TV, dating, and people in general, were. Then he sort of disappeared...until he started popping up on seemingly EVERY podcast I listen to: Never Not Funny, Guys With Feelings, Comedy Death Ray, Adam Carolla, I Love Movies, Comedy & Everything Else and many more.

So finally, after all of the listening to him in my earbuds, watching him on TV and following him on Twitter, I got to see him perform yesterday at the Lakeshore Theater, where he showed up with his fellow joke-telling, music-making partner in crime, Mike Phirman. By the time they left the stage, the performance had already safely made its way into my top two comedy shows. Yep, right up there with Paul F. Tompkins...and that's not an easy place to get to. I can't really describe the show without repeating my favorite jokes, but I can say that they are brilliant stand-up comedians, surprisingly fantastic live singers, highly entertaining performers and overall smart, hilarious, sweet, lovely guys. And look - I got hugs and autographs! It was a dream come true.

(A few other pictures HERE, including the best autograph ever...they still make me smile!)

If you don't have the chance to see them perform, you can always just do as I do and check out Chris and Mike on Twitter every day, listen for them on any of the podcasts I mentioned above, or take a look at Nerdist.com for a little bit of all things geek.

Moving right along, not only did I have one of the funniest nights of my life this week, but also one of the downright rockingest. Jon and I saw the Manic Street Preachers on Thursday night, which is normally not the best night for a show, because I'm tired and worn down from the week and anxious about staying out too late. As it got closer to Thursday, however, I got more and more excited about seeing the Manics again. When the time actually came to leave work and head over to the Metro, I had butterflies in my stomach and nervous energy like you wouldn't believe. I've seen the Manics twice before at English music festivals, but nothing that compares to being in a smaller venue with a few hundred hardcore fans that have either never had the chance to see them before or have waited ten years for the chance to do it again.

(More of Jon's awesome pictures HERE)

I'd read somewhere that Nicky Wire hurt his back earlier in the year, so I was worried that he'd be less enthusiastic or, even worse, obviously in pain, but there was no sign of any of that. James and Nicky (I couldn't really see Sean) were all smiles, jumping around like they're younger than me and absolutely destroying my eardrums all night long. Four days later, I still don't think my hearing is back to normal and I can't stop humming their songs. If you haven't gotten the chance to check out their newest CD, Journal for Plague Lovers, (it came out pretty recently in the U.S.) please do. It's beautiful and powerful and stuck in my brain.

I sometimes wonder if I'm doing myself a disservice by clinging so tightly to some of the same bands I've been listening to since I was a teenager, but when they continue to come out with brilliant new albums and tour them with such passion, I can't help but fall in love all over again. I don't know if I'll ever feel the same way about a "new" band as I do The Charlatans or the Manics or Super Furry Animals, etc. They came into my life at a time when I was really starting to understand the power of music, and the fact that they're still around and relevant just proves to me that I was right all along. There's something special there, and I'm a lucky girl to have the opportunity and means to experience it.

Any other week, I'd probably be able to write a full post about Big Fan, a movie we saw on Friday starring Patton Oswalt. Patton is another comedian that I feel like I've gotten to know better through podcasts, and another extremely funny person that I got to see this week. Because this post is already far too long, though, I'll keep it simple and say that the movie was really good. It's written by the guy who did The Wrestler, (he was also there for the Q&A after the movie was over) and from what I have heard, it's just as dark, if not darker. It deals with obsession, depression, rejection, love, hate, failure, and other such themes, but still manages to be pretty funny. I'd recommend it, though it may be hard to find, as it's currently only being played in a few cities at a time. Patton did one of the best Q&As I've seen so far and had me laughing so hard at one point that I was actually crying. How many people can do that?

So that's my week (well, three days of it anyway). I've been meaning to post for a while, and in my downtime have neglected to talk about World's Greatest Dad (another really dark, really funny film) and a few other things I've been slightly obsessed with over the past month or so. We also went to Milwaukee last weekend, which was much more exciting than I would have guessed, but I suppose all of this will have to wait for another day. Till then, please enjoy some Hard 'N Phirm and Manics:

Paper Heart

We just got back from a screening of Paper Heart, a half-documentary, half-film about love. While that may sound cheesy, it's really not.

Charlyne Yi and Jake Johnson were on hand for a Q&A after the screening and they were just as funny and adorable in real life. Jake is actually from Chicago as well, so a few members of his family were there to see it along with us. I don't like recommending films that I think some people may not like, but I have no hesitation when it comes to putting my stamp of approval on this one.

It's sweet, quirky, funny, honest, charming, and pretty unique. If you're one of those people who doesn't like Michael Cera because he always plays himself, though, you definitely won't like this. He literally plays Michael Cera. Everyone else, enjoy!

Tonight, I Write

I am sorry, dear blog, that I have neglected you. I have a feeling it is a combination of summer interfering with my downtime and me feeling completely unmotivated (read: intimidated) to write at length about anything when I do have the time. Well, here's what's been up with me:

I had surgery on Friday. My first surgery, in fact (yay?). While I was terrified, it was a relatively minor deal and much less painful than I thought it would be. Now I have stitches, which get removed on Monday. If anyone needs a plastic surgeon (don't worry, I didn't get anything fun like a new nose) in Chicago, I now know a great one. His assistants are lovely as well. One of them has a daughter named Alissa Marie (my middle name is Marie, in case you didn't know). She is 30 (I'm almost 29). I'm sure she is an absolutely lovely, gorgeous, intelligent, and well-rounded person, though I may be biased.

Pitchfork is this weekend. In 2008, I had the dreaded boot (walking cast) to hobble around in, and it looks like 2009 is the year of the stitches in my head (I'd take stitches over the boot any day, for the record). Hopefully all will be well again in time for Lolla, though. Truth be told, Lolla is much more important to me again this year, despite the rather lackluster lineups associated with both festivals. I'm excited about Depeche Mode...aaaand...um...hmm...

While I'm still sort of on the subject of medical problems, I'd like to say something about the proposed healthcare reform bill. Don't worry, I won't delve too deeply into it on here, because I don't think any kind of social networking site is necessarily the right forum for serious political discourse. I did, however, have a lengthy conversation last night with my boyfriend about the issue. I don't mean to label him, but I think it needs to be said that he is a Republican because as a Democrat, we have differing opinions on the matter and yet were able to have a civilized chat about it and not piss each other off too much in the process. That's where so much of it goes wrong in my opinion...once you throw broad-reaching insults like "crazy Democrats" into the mix, you are most likely eliminating the possibility of having a rational discussion. One party gets defensive, and it devolves from there into partisan blahbityblah.

The topic of healthcare insurance is near and dear to my heart, since I had none between the ages of 18 and 28. Luckily, I didn't have a medical crisis. I fractured my leg last year about two months before my coverage kicked in, so I walked around on it for those two months and then got it fixed. It got me thinking, though...what if it had been something that couldn't wait two months? What if something worse had happened when I was just 18? I thought I was invincible, but truth is, I was just stupid and lucky. Millions of people know what it's like to worry every day about their health and wonder how they're going to afford care if they need it. It is the MOST important issue in our country. Period. And something needs to be done.

Maybe...just maybe, before you start calculating how much it will cost you as an individual, you should take a moment and think about what it might mean to someone else to have a sense of security that they've never had and that many of us take for granted.

I know many don't agree with the President's plan. I don't know enough of the specifics of it to dissect it with any degree of accuracy, but I do believe that this administration's goal of healthcare reform is grounded in good intentions. The idea is to get more people on cheaper plans and to force the large healthcare conglomerates that are overcharging to rethink and retool their rates. I don't know if this outcome is entirely possible, or if it will truly cost those who are currently on plans through their employers thousands of extra dollars each year. I do know, however, that something needs to happen. This is a scary time when a lot of Americans are out of work and out of insurance. Not everyone will be as lucky as I was, and it gets me choked up to just think about it. What I'm trying to say, as simply as I can think to say it, is that this is a serious issue that can not and should not be overly summarized, simplified, and made to seem black and white. You are not going to change anyone's mind in 140 characters or less, nor should you try to. The plan is not all bad and it is not all good. The sooner people realize this, the faster we may see a more agreeable compromise.

And now onto something much less depressing and much more enjoyable!

Two videos you must see:

1) I mentioned The Boxer Rebellion a while back. In fact, I put together a whole post on why you should love them, or at least give them a chance. Well, I checked out their website again today to see what was new and found out a few things. First off, they are releasing physical copies of their newest album in a few countries, but not the U.S...yet. Next, it seems they are playing shows in Toronto and New York City, but not Chicago...yet. Finally, they have a newish video up which perfectly showcases why I adore them as much as I do...they are just so good live. Give it a little listen, will ya? What can it hurt?

Raaaaaaaandy - Part 1 (Funny People) from Aziz Ansari

2) Aziz Ansari is one of the comic geniuses behind Human Giant. He is a regular on Parks & Recreation. He was responsible for one of the funniest scenes in Observe & Report. And now, he's making mocumentary-type promos for the forthcoming film, Funny People (which really truly honestly looks to be very very funny, people). He is Raaaaaaaandy...a character that almost too blatantly serves as a critique on the "comedy" of Dane Cook and others like him (all style, no substance, as they say).

Moving right along, the Sears Tower is changing its name to Willis Tower tomorrow, so on the way home I thought I'd stop by and say goodbye to the old name. Problem is, there's nothing to say goodbye to! There is no sign of the word "Sears" anywhere around the building anymore. All signage has been replaced, with the new logo up, but fully covered in anticipation of the big reveal tomorrow. If I were a tourist, I think I would be mighty confused. I have a feeling it will perplex quite a few who have no idea that the change is even happening. I plan to go back and explore the new, terrifyingly-named addition to the 103rd floor Skydeck, "The Ledge," in a few weeks, assuming Dan is game when he's in town for Lolla. I feel much better about doing touristy things when I am with an actual tourist, you see.

I've seen a few films:

1) Transformers 2 - just as dreadful as everyone said it was

2) The Hangover - just as hilarious as everyone said it was

3) Bruno - funny, in a Curb Your Enthusiasm kind of way, where the humor comes from the cringey moments that you can see coming, but hope you're wrong about

4) Ice Age 3D - pretty much the same as the other two, but it's in 3-motherflippin-D, yo!

Well, I think it's time to call it a night. Political rants drain me. ;)

Recapapalooza

Well, hello there, Bloggerville! Long time no post, and boy do I have things to say. First off, I promised you a review of I Love You, Man. Here goes (no spoilers, I promise!):

I Love You, Man is funny. No surprise there. Paul Rudd plays a great straight man to Jason Segel's more colorful and outlandish character. He is charmingly awkward, and most of the early laughs come from some seriously cringe-worthy moments. As the film progresses, though, and he lets down his guard, Rudd and Segel are the perfect duo. They play off of each other nicely and you can tell they genuinely love each other...man.

(More pics HERE)

As is standard with these types of films, (dubbed "dick flicks" by Segel at the post-screening Q&A), the women are simply there to move the story along. They are insignificant and slightly in-the-way. Rashida Jones does her best, though, and comes off as sweet, funny, and endearing. Jamie Pressley is completely ridiculous and I could have done without her being in it at all. Ever since she began playing Joy on My Name is Earl, I think she forgot how do dial it down. She is a bit too far over the top, as is the other "needy" female friend who is after every man within reach and oh so desperate to be loved. Guys, not all girls are as gossipy and pathetic as these chicks, I promise you.

Bottom line time--I laughed for an hour and a half straight. While Role Models was entertaining in a more surprising way, this was just straight-up hilarity. A great investment of a Sunday afternoon and $10, in my opinion. There were at least 10 holy-shit moments, but it's not just shock value that makes it funny. I think the film nicely captures the difficulty in making real friends as an adult, especially when you're in a relationship. I've experienced this first-hand since moving to Chicago. You get complacent. Especially when you really enjoy spending time with your significant other. You don't feel that burning desire to seek out the company of others. Ok, so maybe it hit a little close to home! Anyway, I'm pretty sure ILYM comes out this Friday, so let me know what you think of it when you see it!

We also saw Monsters vs. Aliens in 3D last week. I'm not going to get into it too much, but it was also very enjoyable. It looked absolutely stunning. If you can catch it in 3D, definitely do it. It's the best I've seen so far. Don't see it in 2D in the theater. Catch it on video instead. While it has a nice story, it's pretty predictable. The standout performance in this one is, of course, Seth Rogan as the blue blobby-type monster (too lazy to look up the name). I don't believe anyone could pull off the simple-minded naivety quite as convincingly as good ol' Seth.

On Saturday, we decided to go to the St. Patrick's Day Parade since it is literally right down the street from our apartment. I think I would've felt guilty, or at least lazy, if I didn't make it. Later that night we saw the always dapper Paul F. Tompkins perform at the Lakeshore Theater, where he recorded his upcoming comedy CD. PFT is one of the funniest men on the planet, in my humble opinion. Check him out on almost any comedy podcast, because he's a total whore...in a good way! This is one of my absolute favorites. Definitely worth a listen.

Oh, right, and we saw Bill Maher and Ann Coulter...um, debate? I don't really know what to say about it that can't already be read online. It was interesting. She is even thinner in person than I could have imagined. She reminded me a bit of the gangly characters from The Nightmare before Christmas. She was actually a lot more likable with him there to riff off of than she is alone. Since I listen to Real Time with Bill Maher regularly via podcast and have seen a few of his recent appearances on Larry King Live and, of course, his movie, Religulous, most of what he had to say vaguely resembled things I've heard before. I'm still glad I went, though. It was my first setting foot inside the Chicago Theatre and overall it was entertaining and we were home at a decent hour, so win-win-win.

One of the last big things that's happened in the past few weeks (other than the heavenly weather we've been having)--we got Lollapalooza tickets! For just $60 (last year I paid $175, I think)! They haven't announced the lineup yet (though Depeche Mode, Beastie Boys, and Jane's Addiction are the fairly-official headliners), but at such a great price for three days of solid entertainment, how could we not go for it? Hell, I'd pay $60 to see Depeche Mode alone. I also bought Pitchfork tickets, but so far the bands playing are completely uninspiring. We'll see. I can always sell them if there's no one I care to go for. I just can't imagine not buying tickets to either festival and giving it a try at least. It's one of the biggest perks of living in Chicago.

Finally, I'm taking the day off on Friday! Aaaaand...I'm going to the eye doctor to get contacts! I've seriously been putting this off forever. I'm 100% freaked out by the idea of sticking something in my eye, but it's something I'll just have to get over if I want the option of wearing sunglasses or no glasses at all.

That's it. I'm sleepy. I don't have the energy to re-read this mess, so I hope it makes some kind of sense. G'night! Happy St. Patrick's Day, lushes and Irish peeps!

Something to smile about

This, my friends, is a beautiful thing:

And it reminds me that spring is indeed around the corner. It's amazing how different 40 degrees feels in February than it does in October. The snow is beginning to melt and only a few man- and plow-made icebergs linger in the corners of parking lots. This may be the first weekend in a long time that I don't feel like hibernating, and that's a good thing, because we are going to see the lovely Maria Bamford and local comic Dan Telfer at the Lakeshore Theater tomorrow night. The best part? It's free! The Lakeshore is always a good time, and there is nothing I would rather do on a Saturday night than go to a comedy show or concert.

In other Chicago comedy news, I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts today at work (well, I listened to a few goodies, but I have something to say about this one in particular), and I felt the need to post about it on *GB*. I'm always happy when I can post about something I love on the site and if it turns even one new person into a listener, I will be beyond thrilled!

Comedy and Everything Else is a weekly comedy podcast featuring Todd Glass, Jimmy Dore, and Stephane Zamorano. I started listening because when I was a young, impressionable 24-year-old, I watched Todd Glass on Last Comic Standing and thought he was the shit. He was the only person on Seasons 2 and 3 that I found even remotely funny (sorry, Ant!), mostly for his straightforward and sort of goofy (in a good way...playful may be a better word?) persona. When I found out he was starting a podcast, I was on board immediately.

30 episodes in, I still love it and am a loyal listener and fan. The "comedy" is not anyone doing a written set of jokes, mind you (though there is a little shtick thrown in sometimes). It involves a lot of talk about early days in their careers, being on the road, good and bad comedy clubs, heckling, heroes in the biz, and a tiny bit of industry gossip. The "everything else" includes politics, religion, infomercials, marriage, gay rights, raising children, education, smoking cigarettes, smoking pot, pop culture, and much much more. Sometimes controversial, always funny, I like that they aren't afraid to say some of the things that I would like to say if only I had the balls. I almost always agree with them, too...and sometimes, I even learn.

The episodes are all a bit long compared to most podcasts, usually hovering somewhere around the two hour mark, but I always feel like it's worth the investment to listen to the whole thing. They also have amazing guests (in my opinion), from Doug Benson to Jimmy Pardo and Jeneane Garofalo to Jen Kirkman. Ok, I didn't intend for this entry to be a plug for anything, but there it is! Get me going and I can't stop! I like spreading the word about things that give me joy, even if it is to only one or two people. I'm not saying that my cup of tea will be everyone's, but it can't hurt to throw a little love out there into the universe, right?